the reason this is secret isn't because i am here to tear people to pieces.
the reason this is secret is because i really don't think anyoe understands who i've become.
you certainly dont. youd have stopped smoking cigarettes if you got what that does to me.
sometimes i think you almost get it. but there just isnt that x factor, that little spark that ignites inside me and says "yes! exactly! that's exactly what i meant!"
i used to say that so much but i really dont anymore because i have no reason to.
back to you though. youre like the AV kid of friendship.
you like the projection. the image that we give off.
but you only like me as a person some days.
i guess itd be stupid to ask you to like me all days but i can tell i get on your nerves after i'm around you too long. i think that's the sad part. there isnt anyone that doesnt get sick of me or weirded out by me after so long.
everything i hate in myself is now crashing down.
ha. how pathetic am i that it took a blog for me to realize how alone i am.
"they call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone
but for what we've become
we just feel more alone"
how am i going to get myself out of this one.
